BERT DOES IT ON HIS OWN:

I'm home alone this weekend and was able to fish from approximately 8pm Friday until 8am Sunday,if I really really wanted to,whichI didn't.
Several lakes for me to choose from,but it's a bank holiday weekend and I had to guess where would be busy. I chose the razzer, I had only fished it once last year and blanked, and last weekend and caught a 15lber, well pleased with that, as I keep telling the missus, size doesn't matter.
Okay,so I arrive at the razzer car park at 7.30pm to find 3 cars there, luckily only 3 anglers on, all fishing in the comfy swims.
The razzer is almost square in shape,with a narrow footpath and very limited fishing space on one side.One bak will hold 3 maybe 4 anglers, the open field bank will hold 3 or 4 anglers, and finally the far bank is tree lined,in and out of the water, with a swim at either corner.
I chose to fish the top rh corner of the lake, this put me about 40 yards away from the nearest angler,but there were overhanging trees between us so there was no danger of casting over each other.For bait I chose to use the recently purchased fishmeal with tuna and larks vomit supplied by BIG BIRD. One bait went out with a pva bag of pellets as that's how I caught last time,1 bait went out with a 7 bait stringer, and the third rod with a 2 bait stringer and 40 free offerings. THE outer rods were cast on the edge of the overhanging trees, about 20 ft from the bank, and the middle rod with the freebies about 30 yds out in open water.After downing several cans of pale ale I decided to get my head down at 10.30 It's surprising how quiet it is in the countryside at night, the nearest houe is 3/4mile awy, the nearest village 1 mile and the nearest town about 4miles. Quiet that is except for the foxes, 4 owls, and the moorhen that kept splasing about in front of me.
Right in the middle of a wonderful dream I had 1 bleep followed by a screaming run.5 minutes later it was on the mat, a nice orange hued mirror carp witha guestimated weight of 19lbs. Silly me,I had left my scales at home,and my camera,and worse of all my pillow. I was using the unhooking mat for that. Not again.
Within 40 minutes of re-casting the same rod was away agin, unfortunately my backlead caught on someting and wouldn't budge.I lost the lot,gutted.These things happen, the only plus point is that it was a running lead and a barbless hook.

Called it a day at 11.00 am as the other anglers hadn't caught, and I had other things to do,but I'll be back.
BERT.

PS ,went home had dinner, mowed my lawn then went to another lake bit-bashing, and with 1 carp rod just in case.
Had a small catfish and 2 small carp on the boilies, and 5 carp to 2lbs and several roach on the maggots.A good day.
BERT.

Ernie goes without Bert – Shocking

Well folks, seen as Bert went to “fookedifIknow” & did the night, Ernie decided to go to his own lake – (Yes his own)
Ernie does not do nights in the UK (Bogeymen you see) so I went with a Munchkin
I lost three to snags & being a s##t angler.
I had a lovely 16lb mirror on popped up sweetcorn.
Who would have believed it if 20 years ago someone would have said “here you are mate, put two yellow bits of plastic on a hair & tie that to your hook! - what plastic & not on my hook - Yeah right)

Munchkin had 4 - -And no one fell in

The next Bert & Ernie session is on Wednesday I hope
Watch this space
Ernie

Tonight we will sort out the muppets from the trolls
The men from the mice
The boys from the girls
The cats from the dogs
The cheese from the chalk

Bert & Ernie are going on the?@47><* (publicity ban)
But Bert usually kicks my royal ass on here
We will see tonight if its skill, judgement or pheromones
We shall see

Bert & Ernie will go head to head or is that give head

Watch this space

Ernie

Carp were crashing out everywhere.
I blanked, ERNIE caught a bream and had a liner from a swan (they really do love him )

Nuff said, MUPPETS , the pair of us.

BERT.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& I nearly forgot, whilst most anglers on the lake were sitting out in T shirts, one of us was dressed in his finest winter clothing...and it wasn't me.

BERT.

It got a tad cool last night – so I was prepared for it.
Yes loads of fishes everywhere but we both blanked (Bream don’t count)

Next time we will see –

It was a lovely evening though

Ernie

Bert goes again.
Ho, hum!
I had to go back to the same lake again tonight, hopefully to prove that we are not both MUPPETS all of the time.
The lake is a local club water only 4 miles from my workplace so I'm there quickish.
The water is about 3/4 mile long and runs North/South. Tonight the wind was piling down the lake towards the car park. I couldn't get where we were last night as 6 other anglers were fishing, I took 7'th swim.
Simple Simon was on the 1'st swim, he'd caught 5 right at the end of the lake. Bandy Andy was next along, he'd had a few, so had the 3'rd angler.
I only intended to fish for 2 hours only, and I stuck to it.
After a bieless first hour, mainly due to most of the fish being on the wind end of the lake, angler no.6 (he is not a number ) went home.
To cut the story short, I dropped into his swim and had a nice 16-06 mirror within 20 minutes of casting.
Nb. 23 degrees at 8pm.
Job done, then off home to vote.
BERT.

Well now,
tonight would have been the first time in three months that BERT & ERNIE went fishing together, however, the grass was a tad damp so we didn't bother.

Never mind ,there are a few more days left in the year, and I'm fishing tonight anyway, in the river outside my back door.
BERT

IT CONTINUES:
It is nearly 5 months since BERT & ERNIE fished together, but we had a quick session last Sunday morning.
The moment I disembarked from my carpmobile I saw a fish crashing out, followed by several more showing themselves. Why fish anywhere else? Moments after casting out my first rod, I decided to telephone ERNIE to come along and join me in what looked like a promising session. No swans about today for ERNIE to entice along, but he did manage to drop and break a bite alarm 2 minutes after arriving, the numpty.Nothing whatsoever of any significance occured after that apart from ERNIE managed to polish his charabang.
WE CAUGHT NOTHING.
If anyone knows ERNIE, be forewarned, if he offers you what looks like a burnt sausage atop a plastic plate, do NOT eat it.

Fishing is bobbins, I think I'll stick to playing with my pigeons.
BERT.

What is wrong with polishing ones motor?
I fixed the buzzer so its as good as new
Bert got the ump because he caught nowt
HE GOT THE HUMP -- I was in bed , enjoying the extra hour when I got the call " get your Ass in gear the ???? is full of carp" Oh yeah I got there & Now't -- not even a bream
Fishing sucks - I'd rather be playing Ages of Empire

Bert or Ernie - -I forget who I am --- Professor Fink even

Before Bert does it I will

The B#####d did it again, gets me out of my nice warm bed.
“Are you playing?”
OK I arrive & he gives me yet again the duff swim
Two hours later Bert sneaks out a carp –
I blank yet again

That’s it -- next time we go I will be there before him & I will not wake him up when I go – I will leave him in our bed

Either I am a s##t angler or he is a good angler – make your own mind up

BUT- Why oh why doe he always manage to catch more than me – it can’t be a fluke every time – in fact no ones else caught apart from him – Mind you I can spit further than him




Ernie