Right….well….here we go….I’ll ramble on and if anybodies still with me at the end of it then well done! You’re officially a bit sad! Just as a forewarning if you’re expecting tales of monster lumps and a master class in applied Carp fishing theory then click the close tab right now and save yourself the disappointment! However if ‘smerkin’ tabs and trying to figure out just why you got it wrong are the foundations on which you’ve built your angling career then its quite possible we may get along just fine.
I’ll be as honest as possible…even if it makes me look like a weapon... but one of the waters I’m fishing is a no publicity water, so therefore exact details will be kept sketchy for fear of me loosing my ticket…..so…Please..IF YOU KNOW WHERE I’M REFERING TO THEN PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO LOOSE MY TICKET…thanks.
Well here we are Mid April already and I’ve only wet a line a handful of times. All the jobs that I promised the withering harpy would be sorted for spring remain in various states of deconstruction….much of the bathroom captures that authentic feel of rustic Greece (anybody ever seen a nice Greek toilet?) and I’ve assured her that the 3 lengths of 3x2, a bath panel and assorted boxes of tiles constitute the cutting edge of style and panache in the bedroom. Anyway enough of my house, by next year I’m hoping to have convinced her that ‘Favella’ is indeed the lifestyle choice of today! Couple all this rubbish with the fact that I’ve gone back into full time education this year; I actually have to produce something in return for the generous student loan I’ve squandered on expensive carpy toys; and you can at least see my excuses for being a bit slow to get going this year.
My new stove...weighs less than 30grammes The first two trips of the year in mid March were short sessions on Smiths, to be honest I felt more confident of seeing Ashley Cole as the new face of Vaseline than seeing any fish on the bank, but hey it was a chance to blow the cobwebs off and I have sort of made a vague commitment to fish Smiths a bit this season if; I can muster up the necessary enthusiasm…..something that may prove irrelevant anyway what with the recent news surrounding the future of Smiths. Needless to say both trips ended in blanks and I haven’t really found any enthusiasm to go back for another round of self inflicted punishment yet. That’s the problem I have with Smiths…….Motivation….that and that awful stale feeling of going back over old ground….
Speaking of old ground I’ve had a few mooches round the Park Lake and I must admit to feeling a little flutter in the underpant area. For all its faults I still love the place and I’ve definitely got some unfinished business with a few fish down there. I’ve got a bit more time than I’ve had for the past five years or so, so the temptation is strong. I’ll resist for a little longer but I’m sure that a spot of ‘Tazer-Dodging’ is but a short way away…
The Park Lake....Happy daysSo…..My main water for this year…THE ONE THAT MUST NOT BE NAMED….its big….85-90 acres when full, with a head of anything between 250 and 500 fish depending on who your speaking to at the time. I fished it fairly regularly last year probably about ten overnighters and I averaged roughly a fish every other trip….pretty unspectacular results I’ll admit but I drew a bit of satisfaction in the way I caught them and also engaged in a fair bit of exploring; perhaps at the expense of catching. I’ve fished it twice this year, both overnighters and both blanks. The first trip was last Thurs night and I had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to be….I was looking for shallower water, which this swim had, and I’d had some success in previously fishing to the stream bed. Baits were positioned in about 12 ft of water at 60 or so yards and one on the stream bed in about 8ft of water closer to the bank. The thinking was there’d be a few hungry carp already resident in the shallower water, which as well as being on the back of a pretty nasty cold wind would liven up a bit quicker than the 30ft+ depths in the main body of the lake. Freebies consisted of a pretty unimaginative 60 or so baits round each rig, to be honest I just couldn’t get my head round whether to stick some bait in or just fish ‘trap’ style so I pussied out of a decision and plumbed for a compromise, which is probably yet another sloppy mistake but hey you live and learn!.....anyway twelve hours of inactivity both on mine and the fishes part followed, so I packed up in the morning content only with the knowledge of how feckin good my new alarms and bobbins looked….tart!….can’t wait for rods and reels to follow.
Shhhhh! I was back again this last Thurs night for another go only this time with a much less clearer idea of whereabouts I wanted to fish. I’d worked the Wednesday which involved a trip down to Maidstone, the capital of beautiful woman in my book and after all this good old fashioned pervin’ I decided on a little detour through Wraysbury on the way home. I parked up for five minutes, staring thru’ the fencing by the side of the Road Lake; hoping to catch a glimpse of Big Jim Shelly doing a topless photo shoot for Advanced Carp Fishing, but alas my hopes were dashed and I set off on the long drive home.
With the missus and kids away at friends for the night, it was just before dinnertime before I fell of the settee, oh yes! I can doss with the best of ‘em let me tell yer. Sky Sports News was still blurring away in the background and the crack in the curtains revealed a thin miserable looking slither of grey. Fighting my way thru’ the pungent air of man gas filling the living room, I made for the kettle. This was the life! While the cats away and all that….By the time I got to the lake it was getting on for half two, no thanks to Cheshire Constabularies answer to Mr. Charisma ,who’d decided someone dressed like Action Man doing a full on, balls out Shaun Ryder sing along probably warranted further investigation……
Are you aware zat your exhorzt iz angin orf sir? Anyway, Big waters, I just love ‘em! But they can proper do your head in if you think too much about them. I knew that the correct thing to do was to go back in the swim I’d fished last week, surely it’s just a matter of time before some fish turn up there; But there are other areas of the lake that offer similar depths and features. As I drove around the lake stopping off at various points to check out some of my options I’m willing a different swim to sell itself to me. Nothing; however seems to be grabbing me. Nothing showing and the weather is still pants….30 seconds of sun that I could feel through two jumpers and thermals and then another 45 minutes of shivering in the wind.
Time was getting’ on and I really needed to make a decision so eventually I ignored what my head was telling me and opted for an area of the lake that I hadn’t fished before. It offered very similar features to my previous swim. This time baits were positioned at about 70 yards in 9 ft of water just on the edge of where the weed starts and one again much closer in on a stream bed that dropped from 9ft to 14 ft. Freebait this time was upped to about 100 round the far rod and 50 round the nearer which also received a sprinkling of pellet. The pellet was an attempt at stirring up a bit of fish life regardless of the species, but the baiting plan in general was again pretty uninspired to say the least. At this point the story should go along the lines of me bagging numerous pukka chunks on flouro pop-ups or imitation plastic dog turd and then lecturing you lot on how you’d all bag up if you get on ‘em!
If I was forced to think really hard about giving you the highlight of my session it would probably be the single bleep at three o’clock in the morning.
As I was packing up in the now bright, morning sunshine a lure angler walked round and told me he’d seen a few basking in the very shallow water near to where I should’ve fished…Ho hum…No surprise there then…
Get a move on I was sat daydreaming in traffic, checkin’ out the Posh Totty of Alderly Edge on the way home. I was chewing over how, more often than not, trying to think your way round where the fish should be leaves you feeling a bit frustrated when it doesn’t quite work out as expected. Sometimes I’m sure that just dropping in the ‘going’ swims and playing the percentage game will put more fish on the bank….Never quite tastes as good as when you catch them on your own terms though’….
Just at that moment a gust of wind blew the blouse of some dusky haired beauty slightly open, revealing just a little bit more than she’d probably intended. She looked up and caught me bang to rights with my jaw still on the steering wheel…
I love spring its such a tease…
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