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Chop up some extra hot chilli's, dump 'em in some water in a small atomiser and spray in Face of scrotes ......

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Scotch Bonnet's are the babies you want to use for this method , failing that, you could always try the old "Possessed by Demons" method, for this you will need the following:

40 Benson and Hedges
Some fake scabs (Joke shop)
2 Green peppers (Liquidised)

After you've settled in your chosen swim, chain smoke the bennies to give your voice a nice gravely tone, then if you hear anyone during the night, just daub your face with the scabs, take a large swig of the liquidised pepper, lay back on your bedchair omitting low groans whilst simultaneously spewing the Green liquid from your gob ! Oh, and if you know a Priest, that would be handy

For added affect, you can always slip a 4 day old dead fish under your bedchair,

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once me and my mate bowesy was fishing sale water park , few hours b4 i told bowesy to bring less gear ie rods, deck chairs ill bring my bivvy and he brings his cooker, anyway we went on less gear cos we will be hitting into carp all night cos carp were spotted in the bird reserve 3 days previous by my mate, well at bout 1 am in the morning me and bowesy was woken up by shouting and arguing with each other and we thought it was only bout 10 lads and few girls, so i go to bowes dnt make 2 much noise cos its gona kick off, so i grabed my pik ax shaft and bowesy had nuttin lol theres was nout to grab, so we pretended to be a sleep and we heard no way sum 1s fishing then no u go , u no aruing on whos gonna go over to the bivvy so me and bowesys are shitting it at this point, and all of a sudden 3 lads go to the door of the bivvy and they go or na sorry mate dint no u was here so me and bowes got out and they were going na we aint gonna do nout funny and that, u no making convo wit us and they went come pop sum pills wit us and me and bowesy was goin na dnt do that, so they wanted us to talk to there other mtes in the bird reserve hutch and its a pretty big hutch, and there was bout 20 inside and a theres a fence that goes for ages and there was bout 10 sat on there drunk out there faces and we was talking to bout another 6 or 7, nutting really happened they were talking bout fishing and dat but just imagine wat they cud of done if there was only 1 lad, there was an insodent on clifton marina once were a lad was fishing alone and 3 lads jumped on his bivvy and and hit him a few times and niked his gear, u see they can only do it wen theres one fuking [censored] bags

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Pardon.
What the hell was that all about, some of slappems posts are less cryptic than that lot!